real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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