So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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