I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
