Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
