There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
