Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
