Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
