Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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