But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
