hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
