did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
