The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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