bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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