is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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