i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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