I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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