I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
