well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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