He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
