So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
