names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
