Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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