is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This is classic penis vs brain.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
