This is not my ceiling
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
