Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
