So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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