I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
