That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Swine flu is the new snow day.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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