Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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