If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
