he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize