Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
