$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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