i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
