I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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