hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
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