carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
