Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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