the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
