Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
