umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
