Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
