if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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