Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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