I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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