just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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