I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
