i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
