I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
COCAINE IS GR8
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
