so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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