we're blogging at a bar
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
