I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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