haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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