She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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