It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
