hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
