She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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