So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
