In the future we'll all be gay
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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