Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she peed on how many people?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
