We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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